Wow, keeping up with a blog is obviously not my strong suit. It's been almost 2 months since I've written, and so many things have happened since then. Referring back to my last entry, Randy and I really enjoyed our weekend "child free". It was nice getting to spend some time together without the interruptions of a 2 and 3 year old. Moving into October, the little girl's behavior continued to deteriorate. I worked hard to get a mental health appointment for her in the hope that we would make some headway. However, the first available appointment was not until November 2. We decided to push ahead, knowing that things would probably get much worse before they got better. On a happier note, we got to spend Halloween with Little D, her siblings and new foster family. It was such a joy to see her again after so long, but it was also bittersweet knowing that we'd missed out on much of her life over the last few months. At first, she didn't recognize us, but after a few moments, she was her old self. She has grown so much and has so much hair now! Getting to trick or treat with her and spend time with her gave us some of the closure that we needed. Her foster family is so nice, and they truly want the best for all of the children. I'm so grateful that we've developed a relationship with them. I think they will be good friends for many years to come.
I attended the mental health intake appointment with "A" on Monday, November 2. After discussing the many behaviors we were seeing on a daily basis, the Mental Health Professional diagnosed her with ADHD, Disruptive Behavior Disorder and R/O Reactive Attachment Disorder. None of those diagnoses suprised me. I'd been saying for months that she needed more help than Randy and I could give her. After faxing the information to her caseworker, I received a phone call from her. She asked what we wanted to do as far as continuing the placement or moving the children. Randy and I had already discussed not being able to handle "A's" behavior much longer. We really wanted to keep "H", but DHS did not want to split them. The next morning, the caseworker called me with the news that a new home had been found for them. As much as we were ready for them to be moved, I don't think we were prepared for the feelings of guilt that we experienced. It felt as if we were giving up on them and just adding to an already broken system. Packing their things their last night and the next morning was harder than I thought it would be. Dropping them off at daycare for the last time was very difficult for me. I had gotten pretty attached to "H", and it broke my heart to leave him there, but in the end it was for the best. They were moved on November 4.
On Friday, November 6, I had already been scheduled to be off work. It was Randy's day off as well. We spent the day just relaxing, going out for lunch, running errands, etc. Around 2:00 that afternoon, we received a call from our adoption specialist telling me that she was missing our updated physical forms from our file. I told her I could fax them to her, but I was very irritated that it had taken her almost 4 months to go through our file to look for missing information. Knowing that we usually got results from calling the "top people" in foster care, Randy placed a call to someone in the head office explaining our situation and voicing our frustration. Less than 2 hours later, we received a call from an investigator asking if we would be interested in taking a baby who was due to be born in a couple of weeks. The baby's mother is currently in jail. I told her that we were very interested, but we would like to have more information about the situation. She told me that she would find out more and call me on the following Monday. Although we would love to have a newborn, our past experience with DHS has not been the most positive one. We've been told about available babies before, only to have the opportunity snatched away for whatever reason.
All day Monday I anticipated the phone call, but by 3:00, I had not heard anything. I decided to call her back myself. She said, "I'm glad you called. The baby was born over the weekend. Can you pick him up at the hospital tomorrow, or do you need us to bring him to you?" My first reaction was disbelief. I hadn't expected to hear anything, much less this soon! I called Randy to let him know what was happening. We were both excited, but also guarded. We've already been through so much hurt and disappointment, we didn't think we could go through it again. I made arrangements at work to leave early the next day so that we could pick him up from the hospital. We were supposed to pick him up around 1:00, but we couldn't wait that long, so we went to the hospital around 12:30. Unfortunately, we weren't able to bring him home that day due to his sugar levels being too low as a result of the mother's diabetes. We did get to spend a couple of hours with him in the NICU holding him. While it was disappointing not to be able to bring him home that day, we wanted him to be healthy. That night I called the hospital to check on him, and the nurse said he was doing well. I called several times the next morning, as well. We got the good news that his sugar levels were in the safe range and we could come get him.
On Wednesday, November 11, "Little J" came home with us. He has a head full of brown hair and dark blue eyes (for now). He weighed 7 lbs. 12 oz. and was 20 1/4" long. He was born on November 9 at 3:22 a.m. The experience of having a new born baby is quite different than getting one who is 8 months old. Being awake every 2 hours for him to eat is the biggest change. I really love my sleep, but when he's hungry, he won't wait. Randy has been wonderful with him. He holds him, rocks him, talks to him. It's so sweet to watch. "Little J" is such a good baby. He only cries when he's hungry or when his diaper is being changed. Other than that, he's a very content baby. He's actually laughed out loud in his sleep already, which was so cute.
We've attended the first court hearing for him. It was called a "probable cause hearing" to determine that, yes, he needs to be in foster care at this time. The parents don't have a great track record with the law or being parents to their other children, so we're hoping that will work in our favor. We're already becoming more and more attached to him, and I know that to lose another child might be more than we can stand. Everyone we know is praying for us and "Little J" in the hope that we get to keep him and raise him in the loving, stable home he deserves. We go back to court on December 22. At that point, a case plan will probably be created for him. We've been clinging to Jeremiah 29:11 for ourselves, but now we claim it as the verse for "Little J". God has a plan for all of us, and we must trust Him to carry out that plan to give everyone involved "a future and a hope".
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